The truth is, after releasing the project, I hit a wave of depression and was over capacity. The emotional weight of Nikki’s passing took a great deal out of me. Beyond that, a good friend passed unexpectedly, and another colleague died by suicide the day I announced the project. These tragedies, combined with the pressure of being an independent artist, pushed me over the edge. I found myself in craving cycles—endlessly scrolling, consuming to feel better, and isolating from the world.

Before Women’s History Month concludes, I want to share some insight into why my collaboration with Nikki was so healing for me, and why I believe it will be a catalyst for so many other men.

A friend once asked me which women I looked up to. I have many—Nikki, several women in my family, business partners, and social figures. But what was most interesting was reflecting on why they are role models for me, and how their influence differs from the men I admire.

CHICAGO, IL – January 23, 2026 – Jordan "Dxtr Spits" Holmes will release Drowning in the Open: A Final Letter to Our Brothers, a spoken word album featuring the final recorded words of legendary poet Nikki Giovanni, who died in December 2024. The project uses storytelling spoken word to directly address nuances of America's silent epidemic: 100 men dying by suicide every day, with millions more struggling in isolation.

For men, without compassion, language, modeling, and invitation, the noise is too loud. So the question becomes: “How can we handle this conversation with grace and tools?” Both as men, and also as a society that wants invested men, not disengaged ones. Join the community of work with How Men Cry and the Drowning in the Open album to show up to men’s mental health conversations in a new way.

Nikki Giovanni and I had done some projects together here and there, but I never really wanted to ask her to do much for me artistically. I really wanted to make my own success, even though she had offered. Something told me though, in late 2023, to just ask her to be a part of this album…

It's crazy that this year is coming to an end. I’ve had buried myself away working on something that is actually a culmination of my life’s work. I once asked Kwame Alexander how long it took him to write “The Crossover”, he said about 7 years. At the time it felt like that was a crazy response, but now….I get it.

Every day, 100 men in the U.S. die by suicide, and many more deal with mental health challenges.

We are all in our own swimming pools with life’s inputs, conditioning, and pressures. Sometimes we are swimming along just fine, and at other times, we may be drowning without anyone realizing (including ourselves). Men’s inner struggles are often misunderstood, and there aren’t many clear ways to get and accept help.

This spoken word album and movement offers a life raft for men to feel heard, get tools to internally “swim,” and find community support. It does so while using powerful metaphors to help others better understand men’s internal battles.

In Nikki Giovanni’s final recorded work, she leaves a potent letter to men: your well-being matters too. Jordan “Dxtr” Holmes uses his own journey from drowning with his mental health struggles to thriving, to bring other men up with him.

Jordan “Dxtr”Holmes camping trip reflections. Are we taking on too much screen time and not enough trees?

I’m ready to change to a new season of releasing more to the world, and happy to say I can do so feeling more like the me I need to be to endure it.